5. The truth is, it will never "feel like the right time"
Hey! Welcome back to Hatched in Asia. ICYMI, I recently chatted with Emily Fang, a YouTuber, community builder and co-founder of Asian Wander Women, a 1,800+-strong community of remote women entrepreneurs and creators.
In this interview, she pulls back the curtain on what it’s really like to quit your 9-to-5 and pursue your business full-time, the rewarding (and challenging) aspects of entrepreneurship, and what she wishes she knew before leaving her job. It’s a fascinating chat with a chock full of useful tips, especially if you’re considering leaving your full-time role to start your own ✨thing✨. You can read the full interview here.
In this issue, I thought I’d write something a little different, and share something that’s been top-of-mind for me.
On over-optimising
For years, I’ve pinned numerous Post-its over my work desk with the word “WRITE!” stamped on them.
Writing is simultaneously the number one thing I strive to do and the top thing that gets lost in the chaos of every other commitment on my calendar. “It’s never the right time”, or “My workspace isn’t conducive enough for deep work” have been excuses I’ve bandied around for years.
Yet, when push comes to shove (usually in the form of a looming client deadline), I know I’m perfectly capable of cranking out a 1,500-word essay. Only that it’s far easier to tell myself that I need a set of non-negotiable pre-conditions before that happens.
I recall listening to a podcast between Brene Brown and Dr Scott Sonenshein a while back about “stretchers” and “chasers”. Stretchers are resourceful, embrace what they have and work around those parameters; chasers, on the other hand, exhaust themselves in the pursuit (and belief) of needing more in order to get started.
Chasing and stretching can apply to vast other things. But it got me thinking about the rabbit hole that is endless over-optimisation. I’ve definitely been guilty of overly fixating on the conditions I need in order to get started on a project or task or goal… And then wind up never getting started at all.
How many of us have been guilty of “stretchy” behaviours? I know I have, from silly, quotidian convictions like I need a *Pinterest-worthy* writing desk to actually write to bigger, problematic self-talk that I’m not qualified enough to apply for a dream role or “ready” to launch a new project.
Here’s the truth: it will never “feel like the right time”. Sure, I do think there’s a necessary gestation period where you need to crawl before you walk; observe and learn before you create. But for the most part, a lot of these conditions are made up and arbitrary.
I guess the question I’m consciously reminding myself every time I find myself dawdling on a goal is: “What is it I’m trying to over-optimise on, that I can actually get started on already?”
I’ll leave with you that food for thought!
— Sarah
Three bits of wisdom to ponder during the week ahead:
🥚 Adult leaps
Recently, I read about something that babies experience roughly eight times in their first year: “leaps.” A leap is a period of rapid development, which can be a bit overwhelming. They feel as though they’ve woken up in a brand new world, experience heightened senses and require a bit more comfort than usual when this happens. Adults experience these leaps too - when we change jobs, move cities or leave a relationship. From Paul Millerd’s Boundless newsletter:
“Isn’t this what so many of us experience in adulthood too? When I left full-time work I had the feeling that I had entered a new reality. I was disoriented and saw things from a new perspective… How many people are going through “leaps” in their life right now? When people change jobs, relationships, or move, they enter a new reality. In Life Is In The Transitions. Bruce Feiler argued that this is what life is like - a series of disruptions that we are constantly adapting to. He calls them “disruptors” and estimates that most of us will experience 30-40 throughout our lives.”
I’m curious: How many of you are going through your own ‘adult leap’ now? What does that look like?
🥚 Curiosity as a guide
Sometimes the hardest part of a transition is not knowing what comes next. In this hazy, in-between phase, I’ve found that following what makes me feel curious and energized to be an incredible guide.
Elizabeth Gilbert author of Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, encourages us to follow the things we are curious about - even if we don’t know where it will lead us. Gilbert writes, “I’m talking about living a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear.” If there is something you are curious or passionate about, this may be the best time to explore it.
🥚 Learning to love the plateau
Big, lofty projects can feel incredibly exciting and energizing in the beginning, but no one talks about the middle, where momentum or progress can sometimes “plateau”. I loved this snippet from Mastery by George Leonard:
“Goals and contingencies, as I’ve said, are important. But they exist in the future and the past, beyond the pale of the sensory realm. Practice, the path of mastery, exists only in the present. You can see it, hear it, smell it, feel it. To love the plateau is to love the eternal now, to enjoy the inevitable spurts of progress and the fruits of accomplishment, and then serenely to accept the new plateau that waits just beyond them. To love the plateau is to love what is most essential and enduring in your life.”
While I’m plotting goals and working towards personal milestones, I’m constantly reminding myself to also be present and also enjoy the ‘here’.
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